the century mark

i figured the best way to celebrate the 100th post was with some cake (yet another festive 'paint' creation from yours truly). i am quite proud of my ribbon work, the flames and my handwriting. enjoy.


*warning: cake may contain toxins and chemicals harmful to expectant mothers and left handers, but it does look delicious.

post 99

yikes, if i may.

somehow i've almost hit the triple digits in posting (it only took me 2 years and roughly 4 months to do it). but i've neglected it for the last few weeks and that is only slightly wrong.

i do like music. there are certain songs that i relate with certain experiences and memories.

'flight of the bumblebee' takes me back to a talent show where one judson abernathy and myself let our imaginations take us on a voyage that, to this very moment, makes me laugh much like a school boy deep down within.

'i want to know what love is' takes me back to middle school love and an emotional car ride with my then girlfriend/older woman whitney wiggins. this took place within my prime (7th to 8th grade)

'how bizarre' takes me to those first days of experiencing the freedom of the first days of driving with friends and one-hit wonders.

the list goes on and on, making me all the more wistful as each song plays in my head. it is amazing to me how the mind will tie things like this to our experiences. our lives have soundtracks, music that plays in the background or that defines the moment.

when i look back at moldova and my time there, two of my favorite moments revolved around a song. one, was the infamous ray parker ghostbuster's incident which involved air guitar and the gyrating hips of the boys i worked with and my own child-bearing set. the other, perhaps less familiar, took place on the most dreaded means of transportation: the marshrutka. the song was joe dassin's 'les champs-élysées.'

the marshrutka full of people and i were simply getting from one place to another. there were a couple translators with me. on the radio, this song began to play. immediately, i loved it. i just didn't realize how much i could and would.

as it played, the volume was increased, the passengers became happier, the sun shown a little brighter and even the typical olfactory funk alleviated (it smelled of glory). one by one people were sucked into the moment.

they began to sing and sway to the music. they did air symbols and trumpets. they sang the chorus with zeal and gusto.

i sat back and watched with joy and happiness. this is music at its heart. it changes you, almost metaphysically. the best songs can change your whole being, your emotional standing. that is what the best art in general does, whether it be film, painting, written word or the like.

this moment and this feeling comes back to me now mainly because it was used by wes anderson for the credits in 'the darjeeling limited.' i watched this film only this week though it's a year or so old.

for reasons fairly well known to me, the use of this song bugged me uncontrollably. 'les champs-élysées' was a song set in my own context. the lyrics are in french, thus i understand next to nothing. this allowed me to let the actual music form the context in which i hear it. to me that song will always encompass the mood of that day.

hearing it allows me to go back to that moment. it is what victor turner would call the 'illud tempor' -or something to that extent- in a book called 'the ritual process' -or something to that extent. he basically argues that our rituals are an attempt to go back to 'that time' when things were good or better than the present. our traditions take us back to a past to which we wish we could return.

songs become a part of our own, personal ritual. we have those songs that impact us. they are almost exclusively tied to a memory, an emotion, a relationship, etc. we listen to them and they take us back. when somebody associates it with something else, like anderson did to me with 'les champs-élysées,' he threatens that memory if only on a minor level.

but this nostalgia is a useful tool. you can take those things that have a sort of ingrained cultural association and exploit or use them for positive ends. the jaws music can be used to instill fear, or the feeling of the hunt. chariots of fire equals running on the beach and the feelings of achievement or the race. there are hundreds of examples. when these associations are used skillfully, artists have the ability to literally change people, change society.

this is the kind of art i'd like to produce, to be a part of, to take in. this is why i love music, film and books. they tie me to my past. they remind me of 'that time' when things were perfect or even awful. they grab a hold of the emotions and change i was going through at a specific time and encompass them. they connect us to each other in ways nothing else will.

this has the signature of God all over it. only he could compose our hearts in such a way. beauty and creativity are in His nature. being made in His image, it is in ours too. if only we could tap more into it.

off the road again

i am home. this makes me happy.

for whatever reason, it is 40-some-odd degrees in mid-april. it is as if God did not want me to miss out on the last bit of winter. perhaps He did not want me to be able to show off my flip-flop tan line.

the tan lines are like pale little arrows pointing the way forward. keep pressing on they say. past experiences have taught me to always listen to my feet.

the past couple months or so of travelling were ________? they were something. they were a lot of things. it is hard experience to sum up.

more than anything, i think it continued to shape my vision. God has been teaching me in odd ways for the last several years. He has taken me, sent me to different places and cultures to further understand my own.

i'm a blessed person. in john 1.16 it says that we've recieved blessing after blessing from the fullness of God's grace. i cannot think of a better verse for my life. the experiences i've had, the people i've met the things i've witnessed- i find myself unable to be anything but grateful.

with that in mind, there is one question that continually takes me off guard. 'would you do it again?' i am never ready for this question. i have trouble thinking like that. i'll usually bumble around for a bit and not really give an answer. i just don't get it.

i try to do what i feel God is trying to get me to do. it isn't easy and it is hard to tell sometimes. but if i've done everything i can to follow God's direction in truth and earnestness, anything that comes before me is worth it. would i do it again? if i felt like God wanted me to, absolutely. if i felt like God didn't want me to, no.

if this sounds like i don't have any direction or dreams or whatever, i want to be clear. i've never found more joy in anything than doing whatever it is my Creator has for me. it is in the following of Him that i've found the desires of my heart. it is in being faithful to Him, that i've found direction and hope. i don't want to lose that. i want to follow that to wherever it takes me. i just have to keep listening, keep pressing on, running the race, fighting the fight and whatever other metaphor suits ya.

smoking = tuxedo

so, i am in fiji now.

today i had a cup of coffee with a guy named cookie. i don't know if that is how you spell his name, but that is how i will spell it because it sounds delicious (sorry this isn't an audio file, for those of you who like my pronunciation of a certain word).

easily the best part of this trip is sitting down and exchanging stories, getting wisdom from and listening to the perspective of somebody you have no business to have ever met. this guy is from fiji, i had a good talk with a guy from india who wants to plant the first church in a city of 100,000, a roommate from korea and there is a girl here from lititz pennsylvania (basically the town next to the one i lived in as a child [yes, i'm a yankee]). it freaks me out a little that i get to do this.

i've been blessed by so many people on this trip. i admire so many people i've met. the scenery is gorgeous, but i'd take the people over it any day. somebeoody send a variation of that to hallmark, maybe with a waterfall or beach or something on the front and 'you' instead of 'people'.

also, it has been nice to not be known as the guy whose grandfather just died. thank you guys for your support by the way. but, last week that is what i was. i've decided not to let anybody here know. i am really at peace with Grandpa's passing.

now, here is an abrupt change of topic.

norwegians,

i must discuss norwegian women. absolutely gorgeous. thank God for them. there was a team in new zealand from norway. i fell in love with each one of them, especially the ones that sneezed. hear me now: there is nothing, nothing more attractive then a sneezing norwegian woman.

also, i watched 7th heaven with them a few times with norwegian subtitles. "smoking" is norwegian for tuxedo. that is all i picked up and i pass it on to you. use it wisely.

thus, i've decided to move to norway. they've got good looking women and the northern lights. what more does a boy need? not much, maybe some mexican food would be good too though, like a chimichaunga every now and again.