today i left my house at 8:45 am to begin work. it is now 4 am exactly and i just got home (i haven't even showered yet).
in my exhaustion, i've had the most profound thoughts of my life. the sad thing is that the only thing i can remember is that the thoughts i've had are profound.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
taargus. taargus.
this evening i stopped by target on my way home. when i came out to my car, i found a note under my windshield wiper. at first, i assumed somebody had hit my car. this was not the case. i soon discovered some interesting news. the note read as follows:
"your wife's new legal name is Taargus. Taargus."
needless to say, i was both shocked and relieved. it lead me to some serious metaphysical questioning, due in large part that i am now and have always been without wife.
i could not stop my mind from entertaining the crazy ideas that went through my head on the lovely drive home. i could assume that somebody was having fun with me as part of some grassroots movement many hip youth are involved with- which is most likely the case- but i would rather believe that it was intended for a real person and mistakenly given to me. either way, i am happy to have received it.
there are two things which make me appreciate this note. the first is the fact that my wife has a new legal name of which i am unaware and the idea that this news would have been delivered in anonymity via a note under the wiper of a car.
the second thing is that they felt the need to repeat the last name. taargus. taargus. undoubtedly written so as to promote perfect clarity. they wanted it to sink in and they wanted me to know that this was indeed her new legal name.
for much of the ride home, i found myself repeating that name: taargus, taargus, taargus and so on and so forth. i began to believe it to be true. i couldn't help but ask myself why she couldn't just tell me she had a new name. i can only assume it is a new marriage that brought about this change. i would have liked to hear it from her. i feel she owes me that. did our marriage mean nothing? taargus......... taargus. i would have been fine with it. i'm learning to live without her. taargus............ i guess it really is over. this confirms it. she's moved on. and i'm in the same place. taargus..... taargus. at any rate, i'm happy for her. i guess. she's living her life. that's all any of us can do. taargus, just what kind of name is taargus?
curiosity is strong in me. i googled taargus. my findings were strange, disconcerting and involved myspace (a place i do not tread often and for good reason). i believe that name might be uzbeki.
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"your wife's new legal name is Taargus. Taargus."
needless to say, i was both shocked and relieved. it lead me to some serious metaphysical questioning, due in large part that i am now and have always been without wife.
i could not stop my mind from entertaining the crazy ideas that went through my head on the lovely drive home. i could assume that somebody was having fun with me as part of some grassroots movement many hip youth are involved with- which is most likely the case- but i would rather believe that it was intended for a real person and mistakenly given to me. either way, i am happy to have received it.
there are two things which make me appreciate this note. the first is the fact that my wife has a new legal name of which i am unaware and the idea that this news would have been delivered in anonymity via a note under the wiper of a car.
the second thing is that they felt the need to repeat the last name. taargus. taargus. undoubtedly written so as to promote perfect clarity. they wanted it to sink in and they wanted me to know that this was indeed her new legal name.
for much of the ride home, i found myself repeating that name: taargus, taargus, taargus and so on and so forth. i began to believe it to be true. i couldn't help but ask myself why she couldn't just tell me she had a new name. i can only assume it is a new marriage that brought about this change. i would have liked to hear it from her. i feel she owes me that. did our marriage mean nothing? taargus......... taargus. i would have been fine with it. i'm learning to live without her. taargus............ i guess it really is over. this confirms it. she's moved on. and i'm in the same place. taargus..... taargus. at any rate, i'm happy for her. i guess. she's living her life. that's all any of us can do. taargus, just what kind of name is taargus?
curiosity is strong in me. i googled taargus. my findings were strange, disconcerting and involved myspace (a place i do not tread often and for good reason). i believe that name might be uzbeki.
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