those of you who really know me might know how much i despise laundry. i'd have trouble thinking of something i loathe more. i love the smells though. oh, how i love the smell of laundry rooms. i hate the process: hate folding, hate having to wait around for the dryer, hate loosing socks, hate cleaning out the lint thingy, hate (and usually don't) separating lights and darks (segragation is wrong), & i hate folding (really, really hate it).
the problem, as i see it, is that laundry never ends. there are always more things to wash, like what you wear when you're washing. the nudists maybe onto something: they are free from the tyrrany of laundry. i am certain laundry is the part of the fall theologians and ministers don't like to talk about. if the fruit had never been unlawfully eaten, i wouldn't be perpetually washing, drying, folding and wishing i was rich enough to hire someone to wash my clothes for me.
oh how i dislike things that never end. i want resolve. i want solutions. i want answers.
i've tried for a few weeks now to write something for this thing here. failure has abounded. there is plenty going on, plenty going through my head. but every time i sit to write, i just stop a few paragraphs into it.
i guess i'm wondering when i'm going to have some type of conclusion in some areas of life. for the last handful of years or more, i've been looking for something satisfying. what i've found is more laundry, more of just living life and getting through. life can be awfully repetitive.
the repetition can make us bitter or bored or discontent or frustrated or so many things. in the repetition of life there is plenty of meaning to find. i tend to focus on the things i'm not happy about, especially with where i'm at or who i am. i don't look to the things i have and enjoy.i don't stop and thank God for the people in my life. with some, i just get upset that they aren't what i want them to be in my life. really it is me that isn't what i want to be in my life. they just get caught in the crossfire. i don't see the good God has put in me, the bits of him that i've got in my being. it's easier for me to see the good in others for the most part. it's a different story with me.
the point is that i'm trying to learn to be okay with those things that are just a part of life. uncertainty is just a part of it, especially life with Christ. faith requires a bit of it. things are not usually spelled out for us by God. there are questions and confusion.understanding isn't always what God wants from us. so often i think He just wants trust, for us to have faith- conviction of things unseen. and with that faith comes hope, what walter brueggeman says is the exultant conviction that God will not quit until He has His full way in the world.
this is something, faith that is, that has to be constant. faith is like laundry in that it isn't ever over. it requires us to continue, to keep going. faith is wonderful in so many ways. though faith can be awful, terrifying, unnerving and place in settings completely uncomfortable, the outcome of it is wonderful: the joy of clean sheets, the wonderful knowledge that God's got you, the hope that when all is said in done there won't be anymore laundry to do.
