if any of you were wondering what movie line i quote more than any other, this is it. pretty much every time i eat a burger, tasty or not, i will say it out loud or, at the very least, to myself. samuel l. jackson has a way of saying things, doesn't he?
"yes they deserved to die..."
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
tasty burger
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
press your luck
right now i am sitting at my dad's desk. from this spot i can only hear the tv, perpetually on the game show network. my grandmother moved in with my parents last thanksgiving and since that time she has filled her days with the viewing of this channel with small breaks at other channels for the nightly showings of jeopardy and that wheel (what she calls the wheel of fortune). but pretty much, she is endlessly watching the game show network.
all you hear, in between commercials targeted toward the elderly, is the beeping, buzzing and unified audience response to a myriad of games. it deadens your senses, probably dilates your pupils and drives you crazy. press your luck is the current game.
is there a more obnoxious game to listen to and not watch? i think not.
constantly, you hear the cries of the early 80's contestants, with their upper torso and head in the midst of the flashing board. this was surely a highly technical achievement which must have blown the minds of people everywhere.
"no whammy, no whammy...... STOP!" they scream. they hit the large red button and you either hear the cheers of the contestant and audience because they landed on a 1500$ spot or they won a tumor inducing microwave or you hear the depressed fog-horn noise which precedes "a whammy."
the whammy is a cross between the noid from dominoes and a gremlin from the movie gremlins. the whammy would involve in some type of silly animation. you would lose your money and it would laugh at you with a helium cackle. for some reason the whammy wore a cape.
but i'm not telling you anything wikipedia wouldn't be happy to. what i will say is that the game show network is an abyss that has swallowed my grandmother.
i wonder about what it must be like to grow old and to get to a point where you don't really do anything. nana spends much of her time just trying to run out the clock. she is ill. she gets tired walking into the kitchen to acquire one of her dozen sprites a day or to eat a pint of haagen dazs dulce de leche. there isn't much else for her to do, that she physically can do.
at times she feels like she is a burden. truthfully at times she is and at times she isn't. but she is family, so you do what you have to because there is something about family that allows us to and urges us to. when there is something amiss with family it is obvious. family as an institution is really quite remarkable. family is something at the root of our lives. family can define us, at its best and worst. even when it doesn't exist, it will be created. i saw that living in moldova. the kids there created family, sometimes for the worst.
i've seen how my grandparents' aging has impacted my parents' lives. i hear stories about people taking care of their sick father or mother for years. i've not only heard the stories but i've seen them lived out. loving sons and daughters become caregivers and their lives dissipate into watching after their parent like they would a baby. for better or worse, people are living longer and family now means considering what to do when life keeps going.
one of the last times i was with my grandpa before he died, some of his family of comparable ages came to visit. i sat in on the talk, fifty years the minor of the youngest of the 6 or so in the room. they spoke about death in a way that was new to me.
death really was a release for them. they were done, for lack of a better word, with living. they had lived lives they were okay with, they were out of the resources of living and ready to put the final period on their lives. they were satisfied with the lives they led. it is disturbing in a way, admirable in another.
i'm not really sure why i'm writing about death and the game show network. but i do know that i hope to die while i'm still living, living in the sense that i feel like i still have a reason to. this hanging around that happens so much these days doesn't seem good. i hope to lead a long life but more so a full one. if i can sit in a room with my peers when i'm the age those people were and still feel like my life matters, i'll be satisfied. this break i've had from school has made me tired from doing nothing. i'm ready for something again, something challenging. i'm ready to go back.
feeling like your life mattered in its past, i think, will help make the possibility of life mattering at that age possible in the future. perhaps the opposite is true, that feeling like your life didn't matter will motivate you to do something in the end, to redeem it.
but i fear that is too big of a risk. by then, i may only be able to muster enough energy to make it to the couch so i can watch reruns of game shows i never cared enough to watch while i was young. maybe waiting until the end to matter will work for some but i'm not that lucky. i need to make life matter while i can. if you'll permit me to be a little cheesy: it's not wise to press your luck, not in that sense.
all you hear, in between commercials targeted toward the elderly, is the beeping, buzzing and unified audience response to a myriad of games. it deadens your senses, probably dilates your pupils and drives you crazy. press your luck is the current game.
is there a more obnoxious game to listen to and not watch? i think not.
constantly, you hear the cries of the early 80's contestants, with their upper torso and head in the midst of the flashing board. this was surely a highly technical achievement which must have blown the minds of people everywhere.
"no whammy, no whammy...... STOP!" they scream. they hit the large red button and you either hear the cheers of the contestant and audience because they landed on a 1500$ spot or they won a tumor inducing microwave or you hear the depressed fog-horn noise which precedes "a whammy."the whammy is a cross between the noid from dominoes and a gremlin from the movie gremlins. the whammy would involve in some type of silly animation. you would lose your money and it would laugh at you with a helium cackle. for some reason the whammy wore a cape.
but i'm not telling you anything wikipedia wouldn't be happy to. what i will say is that the game show network is an abyss that has swallowed my grandmother.
i wonder about what it must be like to grow old and to get to a point where you don't really do anything. nana spends much of her time just trying to run out the clock. she is ill. she gets tired walking into the kitchen to acquire one of her dozen sprites a day or to eat a pint of haagen dazs dulce de leche. there isn't much else for her to do, that she physically can do.
at times she feels like she is a burden. truthfully at times she is and at times she isn't. but she is family, so you do what you have to because there is something about family that allows us to and urges us to. when there is something amiss with family it is obvious. family as an institution is really quite remarkable. family is something at the root of our lives. family can define us, at its best and worst. even when it doesn't exist, it will be created. i saw that living in moldova. the kids there created family, sometimes for the worst.
i've seen how my grandparents' aging has impacted my parents' lives. i hear stories about people taking care of their sick father or mother for years. i've not only heard the stories but i've seen them lived out. loving sons and daughters become caregivers and their lives dissipate into watching after their parent like they would a baby. for better or worse, people are living longer and family now means considering what to do when life keeps going.
one of the last times i was with my grandpa before he died, some of his family of comparable ages came to visit. i sat in on the talk, fifty years the minor of the youngest of the 6 or so in the room. they spoke about death in a way that was new to me.
death really was a release for them. they were done, for lack of a better word, with living. they had lived lives they were okay with, they were out of the resources of living and ready to put the final period on their lives. they were satisfied with the lives they led. it is disturbing in a way, admirable in another.
i'm not really sure why i'm writing about death and the game show network. but i do know that i hope to die while i'm still living, living in the sense that i feel like i still have a reason to. this hanging around that happens so much these days doesn't seem good. i hope to lead a long life but more so a full one. if i can sit in a room with my peers when i'm the age those people were and still feel like my life matters, i'll be satisfied. this break i've had from school has made me tired from doing nothing. i'm ready for something again, something challenging. i'm ready to go back.
feeling like your life mattered in its past, i think, will help make the possibility of life mattering at that age possible in the future. perhaps the opposite is true, that feeling like your life didn't matter will motivate you to do something in the end, to redeem it.
but i fear that is too big of a risk. by then, i may only be able to muster enough energy to make it to the couch so i can watch reruns of game shows i never cared enough to watch while i was young. maybe waiting until the end to matter will work for some but i'm not that lucky. i need to make life matter while i can. if you'll permit me to be a little cheesy: it's not wise to press your luck, not in that sense.
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