the what

recently, i finished reading a book by dave eggers: 'what is the what,' about the life of one of the 'lost boys'-achak deng- from sudan and its war, born a year after me in 1983 and ending a horrific 22 years later in 2005 killing millions and displacing even more . i highly recommend it if your looking for a good long read with substance and heart.

yesterday in an australian k-mart, i was sitting with a man from nigeria having a chat. a dark, thin security guard possibly in his early 20's walked up to us. his gaunt frame and appearance was almost exactly what i had imagined achak deng's to be. he looked much like the image on the book's cover. he was one of the lost boys, i was sure.

after a while, my friend and i were able to get him to confirm my suspicions. 'jon' was from sudan and was settled here outside of brisbane. we had a brief conversation, all of us aware of the depth it could have contained, and he went back to his duties.

the whole time i felt a guilty connection with him. having read the story of achak deng, i felt i knew a part of what jon must have gone through. there was so much he had to tell and neither of us had the time to converse.

it was as though, through jon, God was reminding me of the book's reality and of the fact that there are countless numbers of people forced through outrageous struggle by things completely beyond their control. people like jon and achak deng have experienced things that people like me have no way of understanding.

books, like egger's, and stories help, much like pictures. but pictures and words rarely represent their subjects in fullness. this became totally evident when i saw the sydney opera house last week.

never in my life did i expect to be impacted so much in that place, by that place. i could have stayed in the harbor for days being comforted by the scenery and the sounds. (fitting that the only piece of music i heard while by the opera house was 'let's get it on' covered by a band at a local bar) pictures and words don't prepare you for that type of encounter, they can't.

in the effort to listen and tell somebody's story or an attempt to capture a moment in a picture we can share a small portion of reality. it is God only that can truly comprehend and understand it in every way. God connects our souls to these things. He speaks the truth of the matter into our depths, into our gut. moments of understanding and clarity in matters is great grace.

i feel like it is God in us that can only truly connect us to each other and to the moments we are in. we are in His world, His creation. Only His presence allows us to see the truth, because God is the Truth.

there are some things you have to encounter. tozer says "it is not mere words that nourish the soul, but God himself, and unless and until the hearers find God in personal experience they are not the better for having heard the truth." we must engage our lives, our experiences, our thoughts and actions with the Heavenly Father for them to grow in truth.

this is, to a degree and in part, my answer to the question that is begged but not answered in the title of egger's book, taken from a story told within it. it is that great unknown, that thing only God can answer because only He knows what the what is.

"set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth. for you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God." col 3.2-3

the what is about thinking above, about seeing the hidden life, found only with Christ in God.