another post about a finger

on wednesday i decided that my left hand would look much more stylish if i cut off a small part of it. since i hate wasting time, i decided that it would be best if i attempted to trim my left pointer finger while cutting some drywall. multi-tasking is a wonderful thing.

as my finger began to spurt blood, i began a series of classic verbal fireworks (wonderfully colorful and, surprisingly, pg rated). i decided it would be wise to see how bad it was in order to determine whether a doctor or just duct tape would be in order.

it was bad enough to make me think about a doctor visit but not bad enough for me to forget just how big of a deductible i have on my insurance policy. i decided that duct tape would not do but a doctor would be too much like pampering my finger, with there sterilized instruments, degrees and what not.

i came home and washed the finger, marveling at the canyon-like gash this, in the words of bob ross, 'happy little accident' had created.

the first dressing of the wound did not quite do the job as blood began to drip from the bandage. i could hear the doctor calling. ignoring his cries, as well as my own, i started over. success was mine.

the finger is starting to mend. there are none of the following: odd smells, strange discoloring, signs of gangrene, puss spewing or even septicemia (this one particularly makes me very happy). with time i shall heal and i shall keep this glorious finger.