A Shabby Metaphor Containing Chalupas

I am back in America now, and have been for a couple days under a week. The sleep schedule has been pretty normal, I'm not having trouble with the time change. Flushing toilet paper is absolutely fantastic.

My stomach has been very confused by everything. It is happy that it is seeing old friends, it is just a bit overwhelming for it. Truthfully, that is probably the easiest way to explain what it has been like coming back to the states. It is very much like how adjusting to food is.

You love the food, it is what you've grown up on, it is what you've eaten all your life. But you've spent a significant hunk of time nowhere near it. There was some American food over there but it was different, not quite the same, and you didn't eat it all that much. You become accustomed to a certain pallet of tastes and certain meals. You go through a sort of physiological change to accommodate the differences. Then you take yourself out of it and are immersed into the unfamiliar world of familiar food.

It is a strange thing. As good as everything is, you have to be careful because you aren't really ready to fully engage in the partaking of such things. You make acceptions, like for chalupas, but you really have to be a little guarded.

Time is important for me. I need time to reintroduce myself to these old habits, to let my body get used to them again. That is where I am right now.

I'm a little bit of time away from enjoying the food I used to without having the weird feelings afterwards.

I've enjoyed seeing people. But I haven't consumed many of them, figuratively of course. I don't intend to sound cannibalistic about my relationships. Relationships should not be about you devouring another person. They should be about mutual snacking at first. You share a little of yourself and they do likewise. Then you digest the things they've fed you. As relationships grow, you find yourself wanting more and sometimes less. There are some relationships I could have at every meal (pizza, cereal). Some relationships, I enjoy only occasionally (sea food). Some people you have to develop a taste for (coffee) but that you become addicted to after frequent consumption. Some foods I'd like to never taste again (Baby). Some foods I rarely get to enjoy because they aren't always available (the glorious McRib) and get very excited when I can consume them. And so on and so forth.

I feel like the Bible backs me up a bit on this a bit, at least in our relationship with God. Psalms certainly does, I think in 119 something (that is a really long chapter [i think it is somewhere around 100, if not 103]) and 34.8 too. Peter does in 1Peter 2. Ezekiel ate the scroll and it tasted like honey. I'm assuming this was a new type of food for him. Jesus calls himself the bread of life in John. All I'm saying is that it is a valid metaphor, regardless of what I've titled this entry.

Wow, this has gotten away from me. My mind doesn't like to stay on board with me. It does what it wants.

What I'm saying is this: I'm still adjusting to life back in the states and I'm not really at a point where I can enjoy the company of people around me. There is just too much going on in in my head to be present. I hate not being present with people. They deserve it and I don't like when I can't stay in it.

This could have been a much shorter entry. Perhaps I should start having a plan of attack.

Actually, I am considering stopping this blog now that I am back. I've enjoyed writing it at times but have had trouble keeping at it. Many of you have come up to me and told me you have enjoyed it and I do appreciate it. I think your crazy, but I still appreciate it.

If I do continue, it will definitely take a turn. I'd probably flesh out more ideas and opinions I hold/am working through. It probably won't be focused on Moldova, although it will come up on occasion. I'll let you know what that looks like and you can keep reading if you would like to, though I wonder if it is a mentally healthy decision to do so. If I don't continue, I'll give a proper goodbye.

Either way, I'll be good for at least a couple more posts about Moldova, my time there and the decompression process. That is enough mindless dribble. Godspeed.

post script: American roads = glorious