So this lone star from Texas named Robert and I had this little joke going on the first week I was here. It pertained to the slippery nature of ice and the difficulty we were having walking gracefully upon it. He told me that if you ever started to slip a little to just act like you were dancing. It worked for a while, that is until gravity had it's sweet revenge.
It happened Friday, the day after I was wearing my flip flops in the snow. I was just walking, minding my own business when an evil patch of ice attacked me. It was hidden under some unassuming snow. It looked so harmless, so pure, so sturdy. Then it took me by force with its gorilla warfare tactics.
Before I knew it I was trying to pick myself up off the ground. The good news is I didn't hurt my arms or legs or anything like that. My head was able to cushion the fall since my hands were in my pockets.
That's right. I hit it hard. There was nothing I could do to stop it. No dancing would or could save me now. I attempted to act like I was doing push-ups or something but it was to no avail. I was clearly in pain. I was clearly daunted. And I was clearly not dancing, not even break dancing. So Robert, your plan is flawed or, at the very least, incomplete. Stay in Texas where it's safe, where you can hide in your oversized cowboy hats and eat at the D.Q.
This ice be vicious.
Emily Borders, shout-out....holla, you know how I feel about people falling and I stick by my feelings about it. Once I regained consciousness, hilarious.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Don't feel too bad- I was running late for church yesterday and fell going UP the stairs at BBC. Yes- the same big staircarse that overlooks the lobby. And PS- I met your mom yesterday at the luncheon for John Thomas.
Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha....muah-ha-ha-ha-ha...MUAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!
As one who has severely biffed it (a northern term I have recently learned) in Moldova, I can relate. Although I must say I'm thoroughly enjoying the mental image of you falling.
Push-ups. Nice touch.
Holla back.
Obviously you forgot the ever popular (at least with Whitehurst) "Act like you were shooting a basketball" technique. The benefit of this technique is if you do fall say something clever like, "And 1!!" or "Plus he gets the foul call!" This is what makes this a far superior excuse to dancing.
Forty Deuce
Hmmm, I'll be thinking of a new plan....until then, avoid the ice at all costs....and for your info, my cowboy hat fits quite snugly, and Sonic is the new restaurant of choice, thank you!....we have the best dern Sonic in the county! 'Til next time y'all!
Nice, Jordan. I'll have to add those to my repertoire.
Grace personified! You got that trait from your father's side of the family, not mine. How many fingers do you see? If you see two of everything, you may want to check it out. I'm sure with the flip flops it was a sight to see. Yo Momma
Post a Comment