classic rambling

i just read the last two posts and now see that a trend has begun. i started at 15, then 14. if i continue this pattern i have, i'll only have 13 posts left. the last of these will provide me with only a single minute. what could i say in a minute? probably more than i think.

i've found myself really listening on this trip. in the process of this, i've also started listening to my own words. God has allowed me to step outside myself a bit. He is trying to teach me to be more of a minimalist with my tongue. the things i would talk in circles about for days, God wants me to edit, to be more concise and quit adding to the noise. but, i'll probably still ramble a bit on this thing.

last week was spent in vanuatu. the people at the base we stayed at were really amazing, really driven and ambitious. it is humbling to be around people with the type of passion nearly everyone we ran into had. not only humbling, it is really quite challenging as well.

i've spent the last few days going though the notes i took from the days of conversations i had. trying to make sense of my notes is a bit like trying to finish a crossword puzzle. i am still wrestling with myself as a writer, trying to find my voice. it has proven very difficult for me to tell other people's stories. my nature is so introspective that i find it difficult not to write myself into the story. i'm also not sure if that is or isn't a bad thing.

i definitely feel a bit of guilt for that though, for making everything personal. these stories aren't about me, i'm not confused about that. but i cannot help but look at things with eyes longing for growth. when i hear something, i let it challenge me. i don't know how else to engage the people with which i am having a conversation. in the talks, i'm not constantly trying to shift the focus onto me. it isn't like that. i just have to personally interact with their words, it is how i listen.

it has been a blessing to see that God is using me in these places. that has been a prayer and fear of mine, just to sort of be here not really adding to anything. but God has blessed me with the tangible knowledge that there is purpose in my being here and that i won't have to wait to know what that is. that hasn't been the theme in my last 5+ years and i am really grateful for it. you can see some pictures of a place in vanuatu called black sands paama in the flickr thing to the right (there actually pretty good pictures for ones i've taken -they're usually pretty awful).

i am in wollongong, australia now. wollongong, australia? seriously? i am still a bit humbled that God is taking me to these places. i'm quite a bit humbled by the things i am witnessing. i'll talk about australia later (i'm going to be here a little over two weeks) but for now i've probably said enough (maybe even nothing at all). i just thank God australia is not a sauna.