there is no future

over the last few months and weeks this blog has been moving forward at a very sad and dismal pace. for that i apologize. i've come to the point where i know i must either hang it up or change my approach to it.

when i started this endeavor back in january of 2006, my intentions were to keep people informed about my time in moldova. it served that purpose well and began to serve other purposes i hadn't intended, such as giving me an outlet to discuss cereal eating techniques/methods, saved by the bell, michael bolton and also serving as something i could discuss the amazing joys and even more amazing struggles that come in the service of the God that sits on the throne of grace.

admittedly, i've lost a great deal of motivation to keep posting random ideas, randomly. i've pondered, lately, why that has been. tonight, with the help of martin buber's i and Thou and a couple of conversations i've had with jay strother, i feel like i've come to a bit of a conclusion.

i've been caught up with the future. what am i going to do next? what is the next step in the service of Christ's church? these are the questions i've been asking. these are the questions i've been asked.... a lot.

they are good and fair questions. i am not arguing with that. but i've been wrapped up in them. i've been captivated by them, hounded by them, frustrated with them (or by my lack of an answer to them) and i've grown tired of them. but again, they are good and fair questions.

it just dawned on me with abnormal simplicity and clarity tonight that the future rarely if ever teaches us. actually, let me restate this: the future doesn't teach us anything. to a degree, the future doesn't even exist-only in the promises of God.

my friend, houston, enjoys proclaiming the non-existence of potential energy. i enjoy bringing it up and find myself agreeing. physicists will debate us and use facts, data and what have you but we use passion- something i find to be a great deal more convincing.

i'm starting to throw the future into that same boat. the future doesn't exist unless it is happening (which makes it the present) or until it has happened (which makes it the past). it is a constant hypothetical, a mere possibility - if back to the future II taught us anything, it taught us this.
this unsupported argument should explain the title of this post and hopefully let you know that it is not a cry for help or a declaration of the hopelessness in the wasteland in which we live.

no, instead this is a plea. it is a plea to myself most of all, a plea to get out of the nonexistent future. it's a plea to get out of our five-year plans. it's a plea to get out of our fears of future failures or even successes.

it is a plea to meet God right now, right here or there (as you sit reading this). we spend too much time worrying about tomorrow, about what we will eat or wear (mt 6). God calls us to the present, to live for his purposes now. the past is gone and the future is only a philiosophical concept.

however, we do have a future, a glorious future, rather, inheritance. but in the paraphrased words of stanley grenz (possibly): 'let us live our lives now as we will one day become.' that hope is stored up and hidden in Christ for us (I peter 1, colossians 3). the kingdom of God is in the here and now as well as the eternal.

and it is in light of that i strive to live.

--------------------------------------------------------

i am going to continue this blog. but it is going to change. it has lacked purpose for a while. i am going to try to write something more in the vain of little essays. i need something to hold me accountable to productive and challenging thought. i have yet to determine what the regularity of it will be. i'd like to do at least two a month but have no set schedule as of now. what i do not want to do is what i've been doing lately: just posting something random so i don't have a bagel in the monthly archive.

thank you for reading and also to those of you who have commented both on this blog and in person about it. i hope this renewed vigor will prove mutually helpful. Godspeed